WHAT A PUT DOWN!

Over the weekend I had the pleasure of meeting up with an old Army mate, he, because of injuries sustained during tours in Northern Ireland and in the Falklands, has to use a crutch and wear a leg brace so I gave him my usual loud greeting of “Hello; you miserable old bastard, how are you, you old cripple” Knowing the man the way I do, and what we went through together, gives me the honour of being able to address him that way without it being insulting.
Anyway I was overheard by a young WPC and she turned to me and said, in a very officious manner, “Excuse me! I heard what you said to that gentleman, do you realise you are breaking the law and, if the gentleman wishes to make a complaint I could arrest you”. Before I could answer my mate chirped up “That man you are threatening with arresting and I served our Queen and Country together and he once carried me for two miles, he has earned the right to talk to me anyway he likes, unlike you, in your fancy dress. Now, may I suggest that you go and confer with someone much higher than your pay-grade to find out if you have enough coppers on duty to arrest the pair of us and if you have we’ll be in that pub over there; now be a good girl and leave us alone” Rather disgruntled and shame-faced she walked away, accompanied by a round of applause from those nearby who had overheard the exchange.
As we walked to the pub my mate turned to me and said “I’ve told you before, don’t call me old”